Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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