Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
