It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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