I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
