you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
