i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
