I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
