i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
