we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
