I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Randomize