I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
