I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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