I hate your face
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
