eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
