wrigley field is MILF paradise
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
