Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
