drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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