So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Shame - the story of my life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
