I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
