you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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