I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
