Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
