i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
