Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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