i just google imaged poop.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
