I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
