I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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