I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize