its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
