worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
