After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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