I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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