I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
