from now on my penis is your penis
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize