My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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