I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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