is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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