He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
