with your own penis?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
