My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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