Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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