in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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