I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Two words: nipple clamps
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