I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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