yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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