you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Found your dick twin last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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