No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
