so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
