Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize