I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
