Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
