doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
