How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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