dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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