Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
