if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
