Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
