Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
