Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize