Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Fuck appropriateness.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When are your genitals available?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
