He uses pillows to masturbate.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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