sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
