fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
