Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
