you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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