I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
